Thinking is easy

I want to be able to cook delicious Vietnamese food just like my mom. Her food is to die for! Everything is fresh and flavorful. When I was younger, she made me like vegetables because she got it to taste so good! I’d choose her home cooking over any Vietnamese restaurant. I’m not sure how many recipes she knows, but I do know it’s a hell of a lot! I miss eating vegetables & I miss Vietnamese cuisine in general! My boyfriend is Filipino, so all we have here are fried meat, sinigang soup, meat meat meat and more meat. I’m honestly getting tired of it. My mom’s cooking is hardly ever greasy or oily, so changing my diet to Filipino food was hard. Don’t get me wrong, Filipino food is pretty good, its just I eat the same or similar food over and over again (meat meat meat, oil oil oil). Although sometimes they feel bad for me so they take me to Asian supermarkets to get the foods I like. Pretty sweet! Anyhow, I just really want to be able to cook Vietnamese food like a champ! Hope my tests and trials won’t be too much of a fail!

My dad is thousands of miles away and not so happy with his new life. My brother’s somewhat near by, but I never get to see him or talk to him. My little sister’s near by, but I can’t see her everyday. My mom’s near by, but she doesn’t seem that happy either and I wish I could talk to her more. Why is my family all separated? Shit’s fucked up and we don’t deserve this. I miss the good old days. It breaks my heart knowing how distant we all are now. We’re distant in all sorts of ways.. I miss my family so fucking bad and I’m going to do something about it.

My soon to be mother in law wanted my baby to be a girl since she has 4 sons and never had a daughter. She was so excited in finding out my baby’s gender. When we found out it was going to be a boy, she wasn’t at all excited. The mood pretty much changed like a flip of a screen. But I don’t care, he’s my baby and I’m extremely happy that’s he’s a boy. I’m not a baby factory making granddaughters for desiring grandmothers.

I’m so excited for Jeremiah! We’re going to raise him up like a true man—none of those weak males out there. He’s going to be amazing! We even got a nice stroller ready for him and a bunch of cute baby clothes! I have one outfit hanging in the closet. It’s so surreal to know that my son is coming so soon. So flippin excited! I’m going to love my son like nobody else can. Mmmhmmm!

You’re the only one that can keep your mind under control. Saying “someone’s messing with my head” means that you’re the one that’s letting that happen. Just choose how you want to think. If you want to be sad and depressed, it’ll happen. If you want to fill your head with happy thoughts, it’ll work. Some people let their head go loose and find it hard to ever get it back within their grasp. I’ve let that happen too many times before and now I have no choice but to control what I want to think. Yea my life’s been chaotic, but I can move on by thinking right. The brain, it’s complicated and complex, but is nowhere near to be impossible to control. Keep sane, that’s what I tell myself. If I’m feeling like shit, I’ll try to think my way out of. Weird, but it helps.